Closer to what you Want?
by Faith in yourself
Summary: Re-writing history has been done...lets alter the future


Re-writing history has been done...lets alter the future, it's only just begun!

Closer to what you Want?

Chapter 1

"Everyone's staring at me!" Jackson whispered urgently, panicking.

"Don't be daft" Joe reassured him "If anything they are looking at me, can't they see I'm straight?" he laughed softly, taking another sip of his orange juice.

"You aren't the most butch guy I have ever met, to be honest mate you make John barrowman look like Jean claud vandam" Adam laughed.

"Who?" Joe asked puzzled.

"Famous action movie star, think Arnold Schwarzenegger but buffer" Jackson said in between trying to calm down his breathing, it was nice to know all his mates at the table were concerned that he was having a major little freak out...NOT!

"Oh, cheers mate" Joe rolled his eyes, before grinning at Adam, now he understood the joke. He was having an alright time, considering this was his first time in a gay bar! It didn't feel like work really, it just felt like he was hanging out with mates, Jackson and the gang made him feel really welcome, a part of the group.

"Alright Jackson?" Aaron asked concerned, upon bringing a round of drinks back from the bar "What's up?" He could see it written on his face something was troubling him, but he didn't need many guesses to figure out what.

"It's just, it's nothing. Just me being paranoid" Jackson let out a sheepish, forced smile, not fooling anyone at the table.

Aaron took hold of his stool from around the table and placed it on the ground, now sitting down in front of Jackson, demanding his eyes to look into his.

He knew just what a big deal this was for him, this was his first night out in such a long time, since Aaron had sneaked him away from the hospital and bundled him in the back of a black cab, both giggling like a couple of school boys on their way to this very bar.

"Hey, it's ok, no one's really paying attention you know?" Aaron soothed, although he knew what he had just said was a lie, he had caught people taking unsuspecting glances at him, some were more brazen and simply didn't care if they would get caught or not...

Until Aaron caught their eyes and gave them evils. They didn't dare look again after that!

"Ano, I'm just being silly" Jackson smiled, genuinely. He can't believe how good it is for Aaron to be so close to him in public, especially as Aaron doesn't really do PDA's, but what the younger man did next really took his breath away.

Aaron cupped the side of his face, rubbing his thumb gently up and down across his stubbly beard "You're not being silly, it is a big deal, I get it. You haven't done this in months and it will probably take some getting used to...but I'll help you through it" Aaron said sincerely, relishing in seeing his boyfriend smile at the contact, he knew it was because he had touched him in public, something he never does.

But he may start doing it more often if it provokes this reaction in Jackson. And yeah, he does feel kinda weird being so intimate with Jackson in public, especially as his friends at the table are watching, but so what. Jackson was clearly loving it , that was the main thing and he himself was surprised how sort of easy it was to do.

"Better?" Aaron asked him hopefully.

"Yeah... thanks" Jackson grinned sheepishly.

"It's what I'm here for. You want your drink?"

"e yar, let me give it him" Joe interjected, taking hold of Jackson's beer bottle off the table.

"No it's fine Joe I got it" Aaron said, just wanting to be the one his boyfriend got a drink from, he knew it was irrational but, it meant a lot to him.

And he knew his boyfriend made such a huge effort by coming here tonight, eventually giving in after Aaron had pleaded with him to come out with him, he just wanted to prove how much he appreciated it by being there for him, helping him.

"No honestly, it's fine, after all, it's my job, it's what I get paid to do" Joe said pleasantly, popping the straw into Jackson's mouth before Aaron could protest further.

Aaron didn't want to cause a scene, so just accepted defeat, sitting on his hands, as a way of distraction.

He couldn't wait for Monday to come, Joe had pulled a few strings and moved Jackson up the list, the disability team were coming to inspect what Jackson needs to increase his independence and quality of life. And the first thing Aaron will suggest will be for a drink holder to be attached to his wheelchair, to enable Jackson to take a drink himself without asking for assistance...and allow Aaron to avoid watching Joe doing it!

The night was still going well though...well, maybe it was about to get a little more, crazy!

"I said to myself I said Hazel, get your glad rags on girl, cause tonight maybe the night my dear, you might pull me a lesbian".

Adam, Andy and Ryan spat their drinks across the table, Holly and Roz laughed uncontrollably, Aaron stared at her open mouthed, and Jackson just smiled, his mum really is one of a kind.

Joe made his way to the bar to get her a drink, letting Hazel take his place beside her son "So Jackson, you behaving yourself, you haven't been dancing on the tables and swinging from the chandeliers yet have you?" Hazel laughed heartedly.

"No, I was thinking about doing them at the end, right after I have somersaulted across the dance floor and landed effortlessly into a forward roll" Jackson joked joining in his mum's banter.

Aaron just sat back and observed, listening to Jackson and Hazel continue to laugh and joke about anything and everything. He was enjoying it, watching Jackson just let go of his inhibitions.

...

The hours had ticked by and Jackson had well and truly relaxed now, well, he simply didn't bother to look around to see if anyone was looking at him, he decided to let go tonight, of course the bottles of beer he had consumed helped him with this.

"Oh my god, I love this song, this is why I love gay bars the camp music is just amazing, everyone up NOW!" Hazel ordered everybody, Adam and the girls didn't need any encouragement, making a beeline for the dance floor before hazel herself was there, Hazel took hold of Andy's and Ryan's hands, making sure they knew this was not negotiable, and her hard, intense stare worked it's magic on Joe, who followed begrudgingly behind her, leaving Jackson and Aaron alone at the table to guard the girls handbags.

Aaron shifted closer to him, they were both well on their way to becoming drunk, whispering in his ear, easily drowning out the soft music, which only served as a back drop to the friendly, relaxed atmosphere.

"I've had a top night"

"So have I, I'm glad you persuaded me to come, I didn't think I could handle the stares but, turns out I can...well, thanks to the drink" Jackson laughed "But seriously, I've had a great time"

"Really?" Aaron grinned sheepishly.

"Really"

Without thinking, just feeling, Aaron gently moved forward, capturing his lips in a soft, tender kiss.

Pulling away smiling to see Jackson's bewildered face, Aaron began laughing lightly to himself when Jackson's face swiftly changed from shock to sheer contentment, signalling to Aaron that this, them... is working.

They are alright, because they can now see it from each other's side now, something happened when Jackson pushed Aaron away and their hearts were breaking, they forgot how to trust, how to open up.

But it's all sorted now, it's alright.

They were listening to the others, Hazel and the gang singing merrily to the camp number that was currently playing, but never taking their eyes off each other. They could feel themselves falling into a perfect moment, their first in such a long time where nothing, not anything that has happened could spoil it.

And Aaron realised that he wouldn't want to be anywhere else in the world but here with him.

Because loving Jackson can be so easy...loving him can be so great.

And he's here for the long haul.


End file.
